Speaking of Palm Sunday, I am inoculating myself with God’s words and attended four masses. At 230am, I could not sleep and sobbing. I came upon the livestreamed mass at the Vatican, presided by our dear Pope Francis, who looked quite healthy and refreshed. 

Imagine how comforted I felt after seeing the Miraculous Cross from St. Marcello Church. To realize a love that loves me and all of us to the very end, a love that when this Cross was taken to the streets of Rome during the plague, it relieved the plague. 

Actually, it was the pandemic of the Spanish flu or influenza which claimed millions of lives. It reminded me when I came upon the archival display of deaths in Portugal in 1918 when I went to Ourem, in Portugal.

Second mass was quite a feast for my weary soul, listening to the eloquent, spiritually deep homily of Fr. Parker Sandoval at Incarnation Church Glendale. It spoke of “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” A lament, a complaint from Psalm 22, when Jesus felt alone pointing to a chasm about what we know, that God is there, yet, not feeling in our heart, that He is close to us. Without that closeness, frustration, anger and sorrow sets in. Crying from the laments of our soul, reaching up from being rock bottom, we ask him, as Jesus progressively gets isolated from His companions, friends, rejected by authorities and ridiculed by soldiers and bystanders. Yet, we know while Jesus feels alone on the Cross, Father answers the son’s prayers on the 3rd day, Jesus rises.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Psalm 22:1

While there is the descent into darkness, there’s an ascent into the light. Father does not abandon the Son. In faith, we know it.

A third mass and homily by Fr. Rodel Balagtas who exhorted us to look beyond the fear as something great will come out of this crisis. To look at what’s essential, those we disregarded before, our family, our relationships, the essential workers and to let the best version of ourselves cine through, in solidarity and in fidelity.

A fourth mass and homily by Fr. John