We are not promised tomorrows. My yesterdays exceed my tomorrows. So, this am, I visualized I am in a Camino and walked for 45 minutes, 15 minutes short of an hour, sweating the whole time at 7am. Drips galore.
I stopped at a nearby Black-owned coffee shop. The usual joyful owner was getting into a disagreement with his childhood homeboy who was dressing up, changing his shoes, his pants, using one of the coffee tables. He had to enforce boundaries.
I too got into the discussion, I said: “Listen, the owner of this coffee shop created an oasis here for the neighbors. You should not change the good vibes of this place. You need to act like you are of royalty as you are God’s beloved.”
Wow, that changed the ambiance. The guys stopped their bickering.
Later, I talked to a father of a 5yo girl who was looking for a solution to bullying. I shared my son-in-law’s parenting style that effectively taught my #princess2015la how to stand up to bullies.
Here goes: “Look them in the eyes and say firmly, Stop it.”
#princess2015la: Grandma, the second grader boys said, “What are you gonna do? Call the police?”
Me: “What was your response?”
#princess2015la: “I told them that this is not a matter for the police. That this is a matter that needs to be resolved between you and me. You need to stop.”
Context: My 7yo granddaughter was playing with her friend by putting all the dried leaves in a pile, so they can help clean up the yard. The boys wanted to crush the leaves to test their strength.
Conclusion: The bullies stopped in the schoolyard.
The bickering and shouting of grownup men piped down and they started to play checkers.
I bought a bag of roasted beans to show my patronage and my expectation of a calm, friendly coffee shop.
The owner thanked me for reminding him he is the king of his coffee shop and his rules must be respected even by his schizophrenic childhood friend, which he finally did.
The sidewalk is back to being clean and peaceful.
All it takes was good communication and respect of a small business and its customers.