PURITY of heart, then, is the miracle-worker’s greatest engine of wealth creation.
Marianne Williamson, The Law of Divine Compensation, 2012
The New Pope Francis
As the Lenten season progresses, reflection among Catholics intensify.
With the selection of Pope Francis (who was named after Francis Xavier, one of the pioneering Jesuits), the energy of Catholics has soared.
For one, Argentines share how Pope Francis wears shoes with holes in them, while saying Mass in Argentina.
He does not care for new leather shoes and prefers to ride with his countrymen in public buses and subways.
It sends a message that a papal leader is now within access of the general public and spurs us, Catholics, to make a pilgrimage to Rome to see the Holy Father.
IHMC’s pastors
It is the same feeling I get when I visit the rectory of my parish in Immaculate Heart of Mary Church.
Here, Fr. Camilo Pacanza prepares food and washes dishes in the rectory’s kitchen before preparing for Mass.
It is the same feeling I get when I observe Fr. Rodel Balagtas cooking simple Kapampanganrecipes from his mother. The simplicity of the meals he prepares contrasts with the richness of his community connections with choir members and parishioners.
It feels like an open door that ushers me to my God and yours, for God’s representatives on earth mirror the divine qualities we read about Jesus’ life on earth.
Prayer, reflection and meditation
Just like any Catholic, I pray to connect and to be plugged in to the Universe that Marianne Williamson describes as “like a house wired for electricity, but too often we’re like unplugged lamps. Prayer is the way we plug in to the divine, aligning our thinking with the love that infuses all things.”
Stricken with allergies during the week before Lent, I got to see SuperSoul Sunday with Oprah and Deepak Chopra on OWN’s Television Network.
They joined forces in starting a 21-day of meditation and their collaboration produced a movement of over 650,000 folks who have joined them, including me.
Prayers are our conversations with our God, and meditation in silence allows STILLNESS (aka God’s presence) to permeate us, to envelope us, to embrace us.
Deepak Chopra even described how he went into a weeklong vacation with his wife, which was marked by meditation, prayer and complete silence.
I wondered if I could mirror even a bit of that stillness felt during meditation.
The 21-day meditation process and ordinary gifts of life
By the 11th day into the process, I noticed a difference.
I saw more joy in the ordinariness of life — the juice that my husband diligently prepares for me, the special favors that friends extend to me, just because they are thoughtful, loving, considerate and God’s bountiful blessings.
I realize a special blessing, of living a life as a beloved child of God.
I write and cook meals for two daily. On Saturdays, I include a friend and an octogenarian neighbor.
A full plate of blueberry hotcakes, applewood smoked bacon and maple syrup comes back filled with lemons and tomatoes.
The other day, Janet Nepales invited me and my husband to join her at a special screening and a cocktail reception.
It was an evening of joy and special conversations — ones that stayed in my heart.
We got into discussions of spirituality and depths of faith’s experiences she had with her parents, her family and her daughters.
What I liked is how she was described as ‘an angel of little lights,’ which is really who we are — descendants of divinity, carved uniquely, with a special purpose of being of service to others.
I liked hearing her stories about the early days of journalism — days when there were no computers nor digital cameras, and when the tedious layout was done by a typesetter, with meticulous cutting and pasting of headlines and column inches.
It was a discussion of what we cherish, of what we say hallelujah for — our blessings in life.
One day, my friend Carmen laughed so hard with me, as we recalled our daily adventures in life. She narrated how she mentored folks all around her to be polite, to be respectful in customer service.
Before we ended our conversation, I talked to her about my wish to do the Spanish Steps, the Camino de Santiago, the Way. She said: “Don’t forget to look for Otep”, the father of Lara, an elementary school student at May Isang Pangarap , a teleserye on ABS-CBN.
We laughed so hard, as we love good teleseryes, looking for life lessons in typical human conditions.
I love this meme shared by Alma Anonas-Carpio: “Laugh so hard that even sorrow smiles at you. Fight so strong that even fate accepts defeat. Love so true that even hatred walks out of the way. And live life so well that even death loves to see you exist.”
One of the lessons I learned this Lenten Season is to live life with grace, without easing God out (EGO) of my life.
While I know now that darkness can be projected on my life, I am surrounded by spirit-conscious friends, who tell me that I should not allow such poison to permeate nor toxify my heart.
So, I pray, meditate and visit my pastors at IHMC to derive lessons from them, and my joyful friends who live not just for themselves, but in service of others. I stay in service of others. This way, God lights my path, as I am influenced to stay in the light!
On June 14, Apl.de.ap shared the podium with Becca Godinez, Gelo Francisco of Philippine Chamber Singers, and Joel Jacinto of Kayamanan ng Lahi to announce their upcoming July 8 concert, “Apl.de.ap Takes You to the Philippines: A Celebration of Global Filipino Music” at the Hollywood Bowl.
As a historic first, July 8 will be devoted to Original Philippine Music, the haranas also known as love serenades, and Philippine dances.
In collaboration with KCRW’s World Festival, Apl.de.ap will take Los Angeles to the Philippines, celebrating its global Filipino music.
Arvind Manocha, Chief Operating Officer, described the Hollywood Bowl as a place where music and art converge in Los Angeles. Since the 1920s, as a cultural diversity pioneer, Latin and mainstream artists have been part of its 9-decade history.
“To me, it means another dream of mine will come true. I grew up listening to Original Philippine Music and [song and dance] have never been done before, where the Filipino music’s timeline from the 1960s to now [at the Hollywood Bowl],” Apl.de.ap said.
With Apl.de.Ap are: will. i.am & Taboo, Nicole Scherzinger, Martin Nievera, Sandwich, Ogie Alcasid, Culture Shock, Bucky Jonson, Dessa, DJ E-Man, DJ Poet, The Harana Kings with Florante Aguilar, Legaci, Jeremy Passion, Tateng Katindig and friends and Rondalla Club of Los Angeles. These performers are powerhouses in different musical genres, ranging from R&B, soul, pop, and jazz. Legaci is the backing vocal group behind Justin Bieber’s touring concerts. The concert’s hosts are Vanessa Hudgens, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Jo Koy.
What artists will bring to Hollywood Bowl
“Apl.de.ap Takes You to the Philippines: A Celebration of Global Filipino Music” brings Kayamanan ng Lahi (KNL) and Rondalla Club of Los Angeles, who will stage their innovative “Jota Paragua,” an evolution of tinikling (traditional bamboo dance) into a hip hop and modern dance, accompanied by the rondalla, showcasing the Spanish influences of the late 19th century. This dance troupe will set the tone for the evening’s concert with its pageantry as well as fusing its modern techniques with the traditional bamboo steps.
Sharing the stage with KNL will be Philippine Chamber Singers, headed by Gelo Francisco. He was originally challenged by Ted Benito (impresario and cultural consultant to Hollywood Bowl) to gather 50 male singers to bring a new twist to the haranas. The Philippine Chamber Singers will perform after the Philippine-based Harana Kings, who will be performing for the first time in the US.
Becca Godinez will be performing “Anak,” the lyrics of which she wrote for Freddie Aguilar.
Sandwich, a popular rock band, will do a medley with renowned jazz pianist Tateng Katindig, backing Martin Nievera, Ogie Alcasid, Becca Godinez, and Dessa.
Apl.de.Ap, a four-time Grammy awardee and drummer, and songwriter of one of the most influential bands in hip-hop [Black-eyed Peas], will be singing all his Tagalog songs, including the popular music video called “We Can Be Anything.”
The video says that anyone can be a hero, we need not be a zero in our lives. This video has earned Php 4 million, and all proceeds have been donated to the building of classrooms. Groundbreaking has already started for the two-storey classroom building of the children survivors of Typhoon Sendong in Cagayan de Oro, according to Ruben Tangco, Managing Director of Ninoy and Cory Aquino Foundation.
This foundation has formed a partnership with Apl.de.Ap’s foundation to increase the literacy and educational attainment of children and high school students in the Philippines.
Apl.de.ap’s vision
An incubating dream for ten years, Ted Benito had this to say: “If Angie Grey can be the first Miss America who happens to be Filipino-American, if Pia Clemente can be the first documentarian to be nominated for an Oscar, if Lea Salonga can be the first Filipina to get a Tony if Pauline Wilson can be the first Filipina to win a Grammy, why can’t Apl.de.Ap be the first Filipino to host a concert at the Hollywood Bowl? This concert can lead to more high-profile experiences for our artists, for our talents, for our community, and remember everyone is a viable participant in the future of our community and we have to look at this concert as part of a continuum of escalating the profile of our culture and our artists in all facets of society. I see this as a pivotal convergence of Filipino meets Filipino-American, young meets old, traditional music meets contemporary hip hop, and this has never been done before.”
The proceeds for this concert are earmarked for music education for the students in Los Angeles. This concert will achieve first philanthropy at both sides of the globe, here in LA and in the Philippines—a win-win for the children living in those areas.
Arvind Manocha concluded the press conference, thanking Apl.de.Ap for his visio+n, sincerity, and curatorial skill in this unprecedented line-up of artists. As with any production where Ted Benito is part of, expect synergy, synchrony, and significant renditions of artistic talents. It will be a night when the stars of Hollywood will converge with the stars from Manila, Philippines.
“We are blessings to one another, Choose the narrow gate, not the big gate. Joey Velasco, a painter, once said [ I live not by the time of the clock, but what is the meaning of life, meaning what is shared with others.]” – Fr. Arnold Abelardo
Fr. Arnold Abelardo, the chaplain who accompanied President Noynoy Aquino during his campaign sorties, concelebrated Sunday Mass with Fr. Rodel Balagtas at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church (IHMC). 600 parishioners packed the pews and electric fans blasted to draw out the heat in this energy-wise Gothic church. Every Sunday at 4pm, a Tagalog Mass is celebrated. The choir, led by Pete Avendano, is world-class in demeanor, professionalism and singing.
The choir members are the face of the church, greeting folks warmly. The whole congregation warmly greeted Fr. Abelardo, who used to say Mass at IHMC, years ago, where five hundred folks were baptized every Saturday and eleven masses were celebrated. Today, six masses are held in English, Spanish and Tagalog. Two get-togethers for the parishioners were concurrently held, one in the patio and another in the rectory. We were in the rectory with Fr. Abelardo.
Fr. Rodel’s Prophetic Voice set the tone for that Sunday. He said: “Life presents to us as a struggle. All have to undergo hardships; all have to experience trials and challenges. In today’s Gospel, our Lord Jesus told his disciples that despite any hardship, they must strive to enter through the Narrow Gate.“
Fr. Abelardo then described his experiences. He considered the May 2010 elections, miraculous. Why? When the other presidential candidate voted, they got a return message, “Congratulations, you won! ” He is also the same candidate who took the longest in conceding to the current president. When President Noynoy Aquino voted at his precinct, all the PCOS machines failed. He waited for hours in the heat, and like the others, he patiently stood in line, did not cut through to the front, he had to vote manually and did not get a return message of congratulations.
Prior to Cory Aquino’s death, there was malaise in the country. Folks did not know whom to believe — whether the police, military, government or the private sector. No one seemed to be telling the truth.
Then, when Cory died, all of the yearnings and aspirations of the common people came out. While some politicians had ample time to prepare for their candidacy, Noynoy was asked to run for the presidency in August — 9 months before the election. In deference and out of respect for his mother’s recent demise, he told them, “ Wait, this is not my dream. “
Pinky, his sister, told him to go on a retreat. Pres. Noynoy Aquino went to Zamboanga under the auspices of the Carmelite Sisters, headed by Sister Agnes. His question was “ Eto po ba ang kalooban ninyo para sa akin? ”
Kalooban is a word in Tagalog that denotes one’s inner spiritual mission. The president-to-be did not ask for his ambitions or political wins to manifest, instead, he asked is this your will for me? After all, his life was comfortable. But, he was steeled to have unselfish devotion to the Filipino people by his parents. Ninoy said Filipinos are worth dying for, while Cory said Filipinos are worth living for. But the question remained for Noynoy — “ who will stand up for the principles and teachings of your parents? “
On September 9, 2009, Noynoy Aquino declared his presidency. Children, men, women, carinderia store owners, tricycle drivers, jeepney drivers all came out to support Noynoy. Even the Bishop in Mindanao donated his one month’ s pay for his candidacy,“ Heto ang taya ko!” It was a symbolic act of ownership.
Instead of buying her medicine, a woman in Bicol bought yellow ribbons to line the streets where Noynoy passed through. In an elementary school that Noynoy visited, children gave up their barya sa loob ng alkansiya na lata. Heto ang aming taya!
So, when Noynoy was asked, how will you sustain your candidacy, he responded with great dignity and openness, as he went from Aparri to Jolo, saying, “ Ang taong-bayan po ang magbibigay lakas sa akin. “
Ordinary citizens made banners from used rice sacks, banig and used T-shirts. “ Ituloy ang Laban, Noy-Mar Kami! “ Asked how he would sustain his campaign, Noynoy replied, “ Eto po, participation ng taong bayan, unconventional, barya-barya! “
Every sortie they went to, they were treated like celebrities. At some point, “I would be the one dancing”, said Fr. Abelardo.
As a treat, he sang a very moving song to the IHMC parishioners, “Basta maghintay ka lamang/ Huwag mawawala ang pag-asa/ Isiping may bukas pa/ Iikot ang mundo, hindi lang kasawian/ Huwag maiinip, huwag mawawalan ng pag-asa, dadating ang ligaya.”
The generosity of IHMC’s parishioners became evident once again. A second collection was done for the orthopedic patients that Fr. Abelardo cares for. Fr. Rodel said a dollar is worth Php 44, but most gave more.
Retired Presidential Security Guards who ensured the safety of former Pres. Cory Aquino volunteered to secure the house of President Noynoy Aquino, during his transition and installment as the 15th President of the Republic. They were armed, not with weapons, but by a might and force more potent than bullets — The Divine Power guards the new President, a president who embodies honesty, integrity and wholesome goodness!
For the first time since he left the Philippines, Fr. Abelardo said, “ I felt that I am leaving the Philippines in good hands. “ But, let me tell you though, the calamity funds have been wiped clean, not by God’s calamities, but by man-made pagnanakaw. The budget has been decimated, the only monies left are designated for salaries of the government staff. “
Fr. Abelardo’s list of tourist attractions he wants to visit is long — Universal Studios, Disneyland, Disney Music Hall. But for now, they would just have to wait. He is going around the United States to speak with Filipino-Americans about his observations during Noynoy’s campaign. However, he said, ” I am not the Presidential spokesperson, I was simply a witness who saw what happened and attest to the character and simplicity of our president.”
In Orange County,a kababayan said, “ Oh Father,anong masasabi ninyo baka naman hindi totoo iyan, baka magnakaw din iyan katulad ng dati?“ To which Fr. Abelardo replied, “Ikaw ba ay totoo, ano ang iyong gagawin para tumulong sa pagbabago? ”
There was a pause, a long pause, “ Father when I go home, I will endure the long wait and not insert $20 in my blue passport. That will be my contribution.”
The Corvettes (Cory veterans) posted yellow ribbons with messages: “Kaya natin, magtulong-tulong tayo.” Instead of crushing the Filipino spirit, the calamities of Ondoy and the massacres of Ampatuan brought goodness instead.
Fr. Abelardo shared an observation. South Koreans and Chinese investors have bought restaurants, hotels and resorts in the Philippines. It would be also nice to see groups of Filipino-American investors become part of this renaissance in the Philippines. Ano ang taya natin sa pagbabago?
As for me, ano ang taya ko?
I will continue to harvest and write about the goodwill built by President Noynoy Aquino. When I see something glaringly wrong in the US in our consular offices, I will speak up and work with them.
Fortunately, for us in Los Angeles, we have one of the most honest, transparent and efficient consular generals in the person of ConGen Mary Jo Bernardo Aragon! We hope she will stay with us for a few more years!
And for President Noynoy Aquino, my wish is that he will preside over the best renaissance of my birth country, so we can all say that we are collectively proud to be called P-NOYS!
“ The design of the violin – those sensuous, feminine curves of the shoulders, waist, and hips ( Man Ray famously superimposed the instrument onto the back of a shapely woman) – is the result of a long simmering stew of intellect, practicality and some mysticism. It has been thought that the violin’ shape and workings were influenced by such varied forces as the geometries of Pythagoras, the transcendent theorise of Plato and the workbench savvy of Stradivari and his forebears. But the real reason a fiddle looks the way it does is simply because that’s what works best-though no one really knows why. “ – John Marchese, 2008
As design of the violin is described as a confluence of a ‘simmering stew of intellect, practicality and some mysticism, including a workbench savvy of Stradivari’ by John Marchese that suggests a timeless display of world-class talent and performance, so was the Kultura’s Dance, Rhythm, Harmony: Mabuhay! at the Ford Amphitheater. Almost perfect! A crowd in the parking lot, who I got to know for a brief period, described it as “ perfect and awesome! “
Ted Benito said it best: “Flawless rendition. I think the most fascinating thing was the triumphant union of 3 powerhouse cultural groups here in Los Angeles: Kultura, Philippine Chamber Singers and FASO. Kultura, whose dancers I am appreciating as some of the best that I have seen, put on some of the most captivating interpretations of Filipino folk dances. Banga’s Alexandria Diaz Defato captured my soul and the abbreviated Muslim suite took your breath away. I define Philippine Chamber Singers as simply a flawless harmonization of vocal prowess. Period. The original songs they sang were irresistibly charming and clever. “
For me, it was less than flawless, only because I believe Perfection belongs to the Highest Maker, God, and we, as imperfect beings, can only claim close to perfection. But when one sees the grandeur of Kultura, its 25 dancers who were diverse in ages, bound by a common denominator of precision, skill, prowess and soulful meaning in their dance steps — I began to understand the audience’s fascination in seeing dancers move not just to the beat nor the music, but possessed by the period characters they embody.
One cannot help, but join in the crowd, in their enduring standing ovation for five minutes, yelling “Bravo, Bravo, Encore!“ For indeed, our search for embodied greatness and excellence got fused in Kultura’s dancers, Indio and Philippine Chamber Singers!
After all, my husband and I started our cultural quest of deepening our heritage as Filipinos back in the seventies, when Enrique and I took our two young children to every Pilipino Cultural Night (PCN) events, whether it’s at UCLA, CSUN, or UC Irvine and even FILAMArts. It became our children’s immersion into our culture. We found ourselves locating the bamboo poles, as they evolved — now performing their dances in their own PCNs, teaching their friends in high schools and later, UC Irvine and Berkeley. My daughter, Corina, learned the Highlander’s Fury dance, from the tribes of Northern Luzon’s mountains. When she balanced a single palayok on her head, she considered it a big success given sweat from dedicated practice.
But, Kultura’s dancer, Alexandria Diaz Defato adeptly balanced six nesting clay pots secured by a turban which barely cradled the bottom of the six. The audience was mesmerized — would her risky dance steps drop all six nesting clay pots as she moved her body? Though conscious of the load on her head, she gracefully moved and kept dancing.
When the Mindanao Tapestry dance showed the pre-nuptial encounter of a man and woman as seafarers on their journey, two bamboo poles simulated the movement of an outrigger boat, sailing to distant shores. These two poles were carried by two men on their shoulders, while the royal princess, Alyssa Capili skillfully balanced herself, climbing up the bamboo pole as she danced gracefully using ‘languid arm and wrist movements to ward off evil spirits,’ craning her neck as her feet slid, struggling to stay on, and her precise training paid off, as she kept her balance.
She was lifted, while standing, dancing, barefoot on the smooth, curved bamboo poles. You could hear folks gasping, quite nervous and hoping that she does not fall off. It was as intense as watching someone do triple lifts on figure skating and holding one’s breath until they touch the ground, landing on one foot.
My husband had one word — “Competent!“Indeed, it was culturally competent, but it was also heritage-rich and musically and artfully literate!
What an evening of understated elegance, grace, and well-scripted fusion of dance numbers from Celia Defato, Alexandria Diaz Defato, Greg and Candy Sanchez, and the entire cast of Kultura. The musical genius of the Indio tenors: Pete Avendano and Gelo Francisco and shyly ramping up guitar renditions of Ric Ickard, whose guitar plucking is of the highest order, and the vibrant, alive voices of the Philippine Chamber Singers with synchronous sounds from the Filipino-American Symphony Orchestra (FASO) made the dance quite riveting to watch!
It is beautiful to see FASO’s technical orchestral proficiency grow. They were smooth, with no discordant notes. But somehow, I could only feel the feelings of FASO’s conductor, Bob Shroder, as the musicians played their instruments. In time, this young orchestra will age beautifully like fine wine! On their third public event tonight, their youngest musicians who are under 20, are now at ease. I will soon see this orchestra’s promise and potential on display when FASO Goes To The Movies next Saturday at the Pasadena Civic Center, let us not miss their repertoire!
I was enchanted by Gelo Francisco’s harana and his courtship with the dancer, Janice Santa Ana, a staged interplay that shows how the fan (abanico) in Pamaypay ng Maynila become the reservoir of unrequited love — indirectly expressed through this lyrical kundiman or love songs. With some encouragement: a look, a smile, a playful dance of the senorita and Gelo singing the harana so lovingly, it was pure joy to watch and their brightly-lit faces had enough wattage to light the stage.
It was an inspiring performance that I could not help but be moved to tears. It has been a long time since I’ve gone to more Music Center events that I care to catalog, but even with their technical prowess, I could not be moved to cry.
Tonight, Kultura gave me not just the music that cradled me, but one that I suckled to as a baby, while being fed by my mother, Asuncion. As I looked around the audience who were also in tears, we lovingly affirmed our love for our culture and heritage!
I got goosebumps as Gelo Francisco and Pete Avendano sang the Ave Maria duet, alternating their solid tenor voices, so superlative, and majestically rendered. It was their ode to God, which they carefully, generously and so kindly shared on center stage. When they sang Usahay, even if I did not know the Visayan words, I felt their emotions of love, grace and playfulness.
But, let me tell you what got me prouder – it was the coconut dance! Kultura’ s program described ‘coconuts as the tree of life because of its many uses — and for the performance, it was coconut shells recycled as musical instruments. There was a pounding of dancers’ bare feet on stage, as they rhythmically struck the coconut shells attached to their bare-chested bodies, heads, backs and knees, in Maglalatik and complimented by the clever use of Filipino martial arts called Arnis. I have seen this dance before, but the dancers of Kultura had varying body sizes, mirroring the true population, some with beer bellies. They were not selected based on physique and physical attributes, but for their prowess and literacy in rhythm.
Yes, there is literacy in rhythm. When you feel there is a beat, the guitar strings are plucked. It is not slow nor fast, but a soulful rendition which connects the audience to their spirits, their inner beings. Their tears, as well as mine, are moved to flow, regardless of gender. When the tunes change, it makes a person sway their arms, stretch up into the air, sway their bodies, not caring to sit or stand, but simply to move with the beat. When bamboo poles were slowly put up for the Singkil dancer to ascend, when she balanced her body, we, the audience, with our pounding heartbeats were careful not to exhale too loud so she would not fall out of grace!
Yes, the audience gave Kultura their utmost respect, not a sound, not a whimper, not any side discussions, for they respected them to showcase their talents completely, withholding none! They respected the cultural heritage, such that their performance had an imprint — a continuity of tradition dating back to the centuries when our ancestors were culturally competent. Almost every word or utterance from their mouths was either a corrido, a composed sonnet, a composed lyric, a spoken word of poetry or a kundiman!
My, not only are Filipinos hopeless romantics, but our hearts were made to love and to be loved back by our people in their music through dance steps and musical arrangements and compositions.
Celia, Gelo, Nadina, Greg, Ed, Pete, Anne, you have not only created art, but also a legacy of richness in creative spirits — something we are proud of to call our own! And to Indio tenors, Gelo and Pete, I forecast a future richer than Il Divo’s, for you share your talents, not with the endpoint of wowing the audience, but with a soulful integrity, a watchful generosity that God gave you these talents to share flawlessly with others!
I whispered to Ted Benito: “There is now a new standard of excellence and quality you must aspire to, Ted, and you saw it tonight!” He smiled. Indeed, it was nearly flawless! Tonight, we cried, we stood up in tears, we clapped so loud, we hollered Bravo, Bravo, Bravo for an enduring standing ovation of over five minutes to Kultura. Kultura brought us home again!
“Our humanity comes to its fullest bloom in giving. We become beautiful people when we give whatever we can give: a smile, a handshake, a kiss, an embrace, a word of love, a present, a part of our life….all of our life. “ – Henri NouwenI have been fortunate in being able to live in the public fronts of community, regulatory agency, professional associations, activist events, and now writing for Asian Journal. It is a life’s journey with many folks to meet, so many friends, and foes to learn from, but few amongst thousands stood out.Few stood out because they had aligned their lives to match their values and their actions reflected in their enduring principles of serving humanity. Like Helen Toribio. Long after she is gone, we still share stories of how she made us feel, how she helped clarify our vision, particularly when we were so much in chaos. Or NVM Gonzales, whom I daresay was fulfilled not because of the money in his pockets, but because he loved his family. He had an affair with written words, and mentored others to live a life of meaning, not for themselves, and influenced many to write and keep writing. Some are still alive and when you ask them, they are happy, from living simply and helping out folks, like Tony Meloto.Some still have growth spurts in their businesses that become moments of hell. These hellish moments become their sources of wisdom as these challenges transform them. These moments of hell are their spiritual challenges: do they give in to popular demand or do they transform their lives to reflect their true character and cherish their true selves? Do they succumb to avoid the conflict within and become someone impressing others?Impressing othersI had a discussion with a friend, X, about life after 50. She felt free to be who she was, to claim her true self. While at work for decades, she learned to subsume her true self. She smiled and cracked jokes, even when she felt no longer joyful. What a performance that must be, a false mask that one takes off when one gets home just to feel real again.It reminded me of Y, who confided that as a defense mechanism, he always smiles. He smiles when he agrees, he smiles when he disagrees, and he smiles even when he can no longer stand the person he is talking to. He smiles even when he feels like he can’t anymore and by doing so, he keeps himself out of trouble. What a strain that must create from within: when he gets home and is mad, he screams, just to lose his mask of false smiles, just to be sure he is still living his reality.Smiles and jokes for X and Y became their survival skills to protect themselves and consequently — to impress. For them, the value in being not themselves means sparing themselves from conflicts and wounds, and so they go along to be popular, to be liked at all times.They live to impress others, but inside, they feel awkward — not at home, nor cherished, nor valued. They cannot honor their true selves, their true worth remains hidden, undiscovered even to themselves and unshared for others to learn from. So when they are invited to friends’ parties and soirees, a non-ending array of invitations, they go even when they do not feel like going anymore. They are called ‘sosyal’ — a social butterfly. Why? Because their lives revolved around impressing others.In impressing others, they make precise decisions of who will be part of their circle or not. They take great care in perfecting their small circle, tailored to make sure that everyone is marching to the same drum. In their mission to impress, everyone has the same look and fashion. It makes for a sosyal-fitting world of impressing one another and conveying the look of a very impressive group of people.But what about their conflict from within? The human spirit has been clobbered, so we find many demonstrations of angst: folks needing to soothe their inner wounds, but they look for external ways to soothe these inner wounds, without considering the ways they can be of service to others. No one has examined the body of thoughts that got us thinking mostly for ourselves. How do we relate so that we are not impressing others, but instead, expressing the deepest yearnings of our soul?Furthermore, how do we live so that we can stop comparing ourselves to others? What type of outfit is that? Doesn’t she look too flamboyant in that outfit? Doesn’t it look like her seams are overly stretched to fit her sausage body? Upon hearing that from people living a life to impress, I started my own journey of looking within. I simply wanted to help out community folks, and at times, I get invited to public events where the rich and famous are invited. But now, am I living this life to impress?What exactly is the essence of one’s character? Character is what a person becomes when confronted with a crisis or a challenge. Do they retain their true selves or do they impress others to convey a new image: remove the inconvenience, the anxiety, the turmoil they are going through, by being who they are not? Or do they respond with gracious dignity, reflect on the lessons of their spiritual challenge. What exactly was their personal share in that conflict, and if so, what can they change? Can they continue to express their spirituality in their actions to live their truth, aligned with their true self?I want to live a life to express. What are we living our lives for? Look around us: the wasted efforts from wars, from unrequited aspirations…instead, how about living our lives in a higher sacred space? A positive space where we displace old wounds from ourselves, giving them away to the Universe. Then, after ridding our wounds and hurts, we can replace them with good lessons to learn from and thinking of how to be considerate to ourselves, to our needs that we have long forgotten because we keep living lives to impress others.Grace Lee Boggs has two new questions for us to answer if we are going to turn this world around: “What time is it in the world now?” and “What would you do as majority in the world?” Let us start with those two questions, link them to answers from all perspectives, and install a process of finding our dwendes, helping us discover the essence of our humanity. What do we leave as our legacy to the next generation, as children displaced by a life of artificiality? Do we really want to live a life to impress or a life to express?End Note: Dwendes, like little elves, dwarfs are each person’s creative spirit, imagination, sense of playfulness.
“I was with God all day. He was with me when I woke up at 530 am to greet the sun. He was with me when a generous, disabled man had a wrench and fixed the car’s flat tire, on our way to catch the ferry. He was with us when we missed our 10am ferry, only to find out a 1045 am special, only for that day. He was with us when we met the priests in Catalina Island, getting there after a mishap. He was with me when I got lost in a postcard shop, and located my companions not much later in a restaurant by the sea, when the cell phones did not work. He was with us when we took a chance to drive with an ailing tire yet, got home safely. God was with me and all four priests, all day and night. ” Fr. Camilo Pacanza.
When I heard this story from Fr. Camilo, I enjoyed it so much, I retold the story over and over. I then realized that my faith in God is equally strong. I expect abundance now that my dreams will come true, if I work hard to fulfill my dreams, a step at a time.
But, I had not expected God to make things right: down to the flat tire, down to the special ferry ride to Catalina Island, down to even the ailing car tire which sustained Fr. Camilo and his companion priests. He related it with such gusto, that I could still imagine how he greeted the sun, how the sun’s rays touched his face, but also warmed up his heart to say Mass, then, to drive an hour away in traffic, to navigate over the St. Tomas Bridge (which by the way, is also the same bridge where folks get lost, as the tale goes). Yet, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel and two other priests found their way to see Catalina Island, and Fr. Camilo’s dream came true.
How does one acquire such a deep faith that anything from God is for the asking? I had stopped asking God, a friend, C, once told me. For everything I asked, He gave me. Instead, she is grateful for each breath and each day. She is a successful woman, and sometimes, she gives away portions of business profits, as gifts to the community.
Not J. J is a loving mother of a teenager, who recently lost her fiancée. She works hard at two jobs, her hospital career job and a business she created to share her skills. She shared her prayer, one Sunday Mass: to have a God-loving man as her life’s companion. After mass, she drove home. At a stoplight, she glanced to her right, and the driver of another car smiled. She smiled back. Off to another stop. The same driver followed her and smiled a second time. He then rolled down the windows, “ Are you J who went to this church sometime ago? “
She was surprised. How can he know this about her past? “ You were wearing this ribbon-accented dress ”, he said. “He paid attention to my dress? He is that much into me? God, you are answering my prayers, now? That was just minutes ago. she reflected. “ Indeed! For J and her newly ‘bumped into friend’ are ‘slowly’ dating, building up to a long-term relationship! To her friends, she said “ Be careful what you pray for, for they will just manifest! “
Yes, “ Ask and it is given! “
I shared my own prayers with J: to find a smart, intelligent, loving, community-oriented spouse 33 years ago. I told J that God gave me that spouse and he is all those. But, since I did not ask God to give me a man who will not try my patience, and God knows I have no patience, He gave me a spouse who pushes my buttons, for my patience or my anger or my frustration to be revealed each time.
I do have a real choice though, it is for God’s grace to be revealed in me or not.
Here is what happens. When I choose to be unforgiving, when I choose to react to my husband’s naughtiness, I lose literally all of God’s grace for almost two weeks: no parking spaces in any buildings I drive to, cranky folks to exchange pleasantries with, appointments cancelled, inability to write, even a power struggle with more nasty and dishonest folks, pipes breaking, literally all at once.
If I choose patience and love to be, I receive more grace: available parking spaces, errands done smoothly, strangers to connect to and to share stories with, an inspired writing day, blessings manifest and invitations from friends to be with them. It feels like a glorious, spring day, perfect for high tea and scones!
When I chose to give love and compassion, I get more of the same. It takes work to be all that, all the time: to be loving, to be affectionate and to harvest the goodness in folks, rather than their weak points!
But, in turn, God’s sacred space is what I consciously operate from, and away from an unconscious, reactive, difficult life which creates tensions and frustrations! My husband jokingly says that God has a sense of humor, that he was given to me for my God’s purpose, to create more patience in me! We laugh, we hug and we simply just be!
It is time to let God in, as if a fresh wind, as if a fresh ray of the sun to warm one’s cheeks, as if a Good Samaritan who changes Fr. Rodel’s car tire, as if a human GPS ( global positioning system ) to point the way for others. Yes, we are all connectors, but we must choose His love to manifest in our daily actions!
Ask and it is given! Thank you, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel, and May God bless Immaculate Heart of Mary Church with more blessings, and with renovated structures, to last seven generations to come, in time and on time for its Jubilee!
