My first camping spot was at Crater Lake. I had no down jacket. As a new immigrant, all I had were flimsy jackets. I was cooking sinigang and cried out of frustration. Frustrated that I felt too cold with numbing fingers. Too cold that my jackets could not keep me warm. Too cold and exasperated that I went inside the tent and still could not get warm. I was full of complaints that my husband responded with zero empathy and clinical dismissiveness: “It is all in your head.” He wanted to shut me off like a faucet. Little did he realize a squeeze, a warm hug and empathy would have kept me quiet in my suffering.
“Are you kidding me? Are you saying I am just imagining it?” I wanted to blabber some more. I am not being heard. Desperate to be right, the scientist in me left water in the pot outside our tent.
The next morning I was still hot and boiling with anger. I got out of the tent and flustered, I saw a pot of rock solid ice. Yup, ice.
I took the pot to my husband and said, I did imagine the cold yesterday. You see this pot? Ice freezes at 32 degrees F. I declared with high horse attitude, ready to crush him.
Months later, still dissuaded from going any more camping, I declared no more camping for me. Never to be discouraged and ever persistent, my husband did not give up persuading me. He bought me a down jacket, blue with a hood. Since that first down jacket, he has bought me two more.
When winter rolls in, we casually just prepare our technical clothing and we drive off to our favorite winter spots. One of these is still this beautiful Crater Lake.
Still to this day, I have more stories to tell about Crater Lake.
Women who are successful exude a sense of confidence in themselves. One of the things such individuals have in common is their ability to harness their own thoughts and behaviors; they bring a great deal of personal intention to their lives. They realize that they’re the directors of their own destinies and therefore take a positive stance as they look forward. They’re happy people-by happy, I’m referring to an experience of contentment, joy or positive well-being. It’s the sense that life is generally good, meaningful and worthwhile.
Cheryl Saban, Ph.D., 2009
Notice the LA Times newspaper in your front doorstep? That when you pick it up, it is contained in a plastic bag? When you pick it up, think of a young Abigail, an immigrant at 4 ½ yo, who sorted the inserts so her mother, brother and sister can bundle them together and put the newspaper inside a plastic bag. Do you know how early Abigail started her day with her family to work? 1am.
LA Times newspaper sorter to Magna Cum Laude at USC
Abigail was 4 ½ when she joined her mother, Lolita, and her two siblings, Michael and Shielah in America. Michael, Shielah and Abigail were first raised by their grandmother and their aunt in the Philippines, until they came to America to join their mother Lolita.
With only a New Yorker relative to lean on, and no support system in Los Angeles, the family of four fended for themselves. Shielah and Michael acted as stand-in mother and father to Abigail, while Lolita worked two jobs.
The family worked together as a unit at the LA Times shortly aftermidnight. Abigail and her siblings formed an efficient, assembly line. Barely three feet tall, Abigail stood on a stool, sorting newspaper inserts, which she handed over to her mom, standing next to her. Not knowing how to handle the work at that young age, Abigail developed eczema from unhealed paper cuts. When her young body got tired, she slept inside the shopping cart, propped next to the assembly table. The cart was her bed, where she was safely tucked in. By 6am, the morning newspaper had been delivered, their sorting shift is done, but Lolita has to go to her day job at an insurance company, while all three children went to school.
When they got home from school, Michael and Shielah looked after Abigail. Michael prepared their meals, while Shielah helped Abigail with her homework, and became Abigail’s emotional support and “stand-in mother.”
When Abigail needed anything, like lunch money or clothes for school, it was her sister that she asked, and her sister, only 10 years older than her, that provided.
“What would you be when you grow up, Abigail?” Shielah asked Abigail.
“I want to be a lawyer.”
At age 5, she was certain who she wants to be. Keep asking her and her answer is: “I want to be a lawyer.”
In high school, she was voted “most likely to succeed, carrying a briefcase.” Inside that briefcase, you will find that Abigail’s mother, sister, and brother packed into it, their own examples of discipline and pursuit of excellence.
Pushed to excel by their mother, all children were expected to bring home the highest grades from school work. She told them, no matter what and no matter what their family circumstances, the children were made to believe “you will be successful if you excel in school.”
One summer, when Abigail was in 7th grade, she brought home one B+. Not good enough for the mom, Abigail was grounded for the summer: no phone, no television and no friends. At 9pm each evening, Abigail dutifully complied and respected the rules. She would even unplug the phone and take the phone equipment to her mother’s bedroom. Even then, Abigail was aware of the concept of compliance to a higher authority.
All three siblings got close, supporting one another, becoming each other’s only avenues of support.
A Hard Worker with an Articulate Voice
Shielah described the family’s trip to New York in 1983 to visit Auntie Rose, who now lives in Las Vegas. They were all riding the subway, when young Abigail blurted out: “That man stinks.” Mom Lolita quickly told Abigail to restrain herself as that was not a nice comment.
Although Abigail grew up to learn empathy, Abigail’s voice could not be suppressed. She used her writing voice and got admitted to USC and even earning a modest scholarship through her mom’s employment. At USC, she graduated magna cum laude. Starting freshman year in college, she worked in the library 20 hours a week and by junior year, she got a second job at the LA Superior Courthouse, working 35 hours a week while going to school full-time. She relished working and earning a paycheck, but “most important for me is the people I work with. I want to work in a family atmosphere.”
She was admitted to the UCLA Law School, one of the nation’s highest ranked law schools, where she did not easily make friends. She candidly shared being uncomfortable at UCLA, a university which had done away with affirmative action, and was less than welcoming and inclusive.
With sons and daughters of rich folks going to law school at that time, she felt out of place. But, determined to be heard, she dressed unconventionally: fishnet stockings, combat boots and of course, she was seen.
She bonded with other Filipinos who were organized under a long-honored tradition of “adobo night potlucks.” She joined La Raza, where she was accepted for who she is. She also joined Asian Pacific Islander Law Student group. She adjusted, and she credits the nurturing she received from other students of color, including African Americans law students, with whom she studied [only five in a class of 300], who welcomed her in “Section 5,” as key to her success in law school.
“When I first got there, my dress was different. I tried to change my attitude to fit others. I had always received good grades throughout my life because I was true to myself. But my first semester in law school, I tried adopting a thinking process that was not my own–I studied in groups and tried studying from others’ outlines., , But it was not my work, it was not me. . In college, I had straight A’s, except for one B. After I received my first semester’s grades in law school, realizing I was below the curve, I cried for two weeks. Once my tears dried, I realized why. I needed to be me and not try to be like anyone else or study like anyone else. By second semester, I raised my grade point average to to a 3.4. And I did it studying the way I had done it the past fifteen years. I regained confidence in myself.” Abigail shared.
With that self-assurance, Abigail and the entire family applied for the citizenship process: “When I took the citizenship exam, the INS agentwas apologetic. As a third year in law school, I was more educated than he was and he felt embarrassed to confirm that I knew answers as to questions like how many stars appeared on the American flag.” Shortly after she graduated from law school, Abigail finally got her citizenship. “I remember holding that U.S. flag and crying so much.” It was a double win for Abigail in 2003, a higher education degree and finally becoming a naturalized U.S. citizen after more than twenty years. She was so proud and felt, “I can be me,” the lawyer she always wanted to be.
Meeting her Mentorand Becoming One
She applied at her first law firm and was thrust into labor, class action, and entertainment law. Before finally landing her first job, she received some help from her mentor Fritz Friedman, who acted like a big brother figure to her.
Fritz made her feel comfortable about “who I am.” She was insecure, but he assured herthat she was a good person who could do great things. He even helped her set up a few job interviews. Abigail said: “He made me believe that I was special, but he was always painfully honest. One day, he called and said honey, I just saw you in a photograph. May I tell you something? You’ve gotten fat. I always want you to be the best you can be in all aspects of your life.” That’s all it took and Abigail lost the extra weight in a matter of few months.
She is now one of the shareholders for the Jaurigue Law Group (a recent promotion to partner at the law firm), where she also acts as the managing counsel.
At the firm, she describes using “encouragement and positive language” for staff to find the best practices in what they are doing, and she holds the record of knowing how to “efficiently handle” paper, given her early exposure at the LA Times. She values the foundational attribute of the firm, a “family atmosphere,” which she nurtures for the staff as well.
38 million folks reside in California, 27% of which are immigrants, with one in four foreign-born. State Bar of California reports 248, 240 are lawyers, 72.83% are active in their practice.
In the Los Angeles’ Filipino-American Community, four are designated Super Lawyers whom I know: Joe Sayas, Paul Estuar, Michael Jaurigue and Abigail Zelenski (formerly Abigail Treanor) as a Super Lawyers Rising Star, given her young age. Three, including Abigail, have served on the Filipino American Library Board. Both Abigail and this writer were recruited to serve on the Board by Fritz Friedman.
Credibility, according to Super Lawyers, is a precious commodity that must be guarded using a rigorous process, peer evaluations and third party research on performances of these attorneys, and a recognition process wherein folks do not pay to play. Super Lawyers is a rating service choosing outstanding lawyers in various practice areas in 12 performance indicators and track record of performance. 2.5% are chosen Super Lawyers Rising Stars (for those who are under 40 years old) and 5% are chosen as Super Lawyers (for those who are over 40) each year, through a selection process, that is now recognized by the U.S. Patent Office.
4 ½ yo immigrant Abigail is now a U.S. citizen and a practicing lawyer, with distinction, shared with an elite 2.5% of the lawyers in California, publicly known as a Super Lawyer Rising Star for the past two years.
Abigail credits that designation to the trust she instills in her clients. “That’s how I get clientsI know that trust and kindness are two of the most important attributes in an attorney. Clients come to me for their legal needs because I always perform my work with those two attributes in mind..”
Her positive self-worth designed her destiny as a Super Lawyer Rising Star! But also, she carried the briefcase, that was packed by her family’s example of hard work, discipline and quest for excellence, along with her emotional anchors in life, Shielah and Michael.
Update:
In the fall of 2018, Abigail Zelenski founded Zelenski Law, PC, a boutique law firm where she services clients on a wide range of employment-related issues. She practices with her husband and partner, David, both of whom have practiced employment law for the past seventeen years. In the summer of 2019, Abigail was appointed by Los Angeles Mayor Garcetti, and confirmed by City Council, to serve as a Commissioner on the inaugural Civil and Human Rights Commission and began her term in 2020. The newly formed Civil and Human Rights Department was formed to maintain and strengthen Los Angeles’ diversity, equity, and accountability through oversight, outreach, legal remedies, and empowerment. Likewise, in 2020, Abigail was tasked to serve as President-Elect of the Philippine American Bar Association, the largest and oldest local association of Filipino-American lawyers in the United States and will serve as its President in 2021. Abigail continues to volunteer her time in the community, including with Search to Involve Pilipino Americans, where she previously served on its Board. She also makes sure to spend time with her lovely family, David, Zoe, Marty, and George.
I woke up with a buoyant feeling. Perhaps because I was cradled in Mama Mary’s arms after praying the rosary and receiving the eucharist in person, in communion with others at Holy Family in Artesia yesterday. I got supported by my hubby who drove home while I drove to church, a 50 miles round trip distance.
Today’s sharp and resonant homily was delivered by Fr. Joachim Ablanida: “Corruption is like a ball of snow. Once set to rolling, it increases. It was like Israel before Jesus came. God lamented. Yet, God’s plan can’t be prevented by men’s corruption. Jesus came and started with a small group of followers, a small mustard seed that grew to a large following. Yet, men are still not immune from corruption today. Will you now choose to be a tool for corruption or God’s? God has chosen Israel, we are now the new Israel that must resist corruption and be the leaven, the mustard seed that propagates God’s word.”
Wasn’t that a brilliant homily with several metaphors to remember our sacred purpose to help propagate God’s words by our non-corrupt actions? From seed to deed…
That was the life of John Lewis who chose non-violence as his lifetime theme. He believed that we all belong to a The Beloved Community, “an affirmation of his faith in humanity — the willingness to believe that man has the moral capacity to care for his fellow man. When we suffered violence and abuse, our concern was not for retaliation. We sought to understand the human condition of our attackers and to accept the suffering in the right spirit. We believed that ends and means were inseparable, so if we wanted a peaceful society, then we has to use the methods of peace and goodwill. Our protests were love in action. We were attempting to redeem not only our attackers, but the very soul of America.”- John Lewis, Afterword, road to freedom, photographs of the civil rights movement 1956-1968, High Museum of Art, 2008.
His body lies in state inside the Capitol. May John Lewis rest in God’s power and eternal peace. He has been promoting #civilrights and #equalityforall for 65 years since beaten up in #selmaalabama
“”We got to make America better for all of her people. When no one is left out or left behind, because of their race, their color, because of where they grew up, or where they were born,” he said. “We’re one people, we’re one family.”
Attribution:
The casket of Rep. John Lewis crosses the Edmund Pettus Bridge by horse-drawn carriage during a memorial service for Lewis on July 26 in Selma, Ala.
Then, as if to encourage me, she continued: “Abuela Prosy no habla espanol.” I said, “abuela habla poquito.”
Today, I am on a roll. I cooked breakfast, then dinner and made 2 sauces.
I observed chefs prepare their sauces from fresh ingredients. I am trying to do the same with our basil plant which gave me plenty, 4 cups. I added walnuts as pine nuts are so expensive, $32 a bag at Costco. I could not swallow that price.
I bought 5 pounds of tomatoes and added garlic, anchovies, basil, balsamic vinegar and lemon juice. The triad of three citrus yield a smooth, subtly mild acidic flavor. I am reducing it to half, blend it and will have marinara sauce to use for cooking. I hardly have fresh tomatoes for cooking now, except if making sinigang or marinara sauce. If a recipe calls for tomatoes, I add marinara. Why? I end up throwing tomatoes as they get moldy the next day.
We managed to have an outdoors, family only, gathering, #socialdistancing from each other. Even serving food was by turns, with masks on. We adjusted to the new requirements of keeping healthy and we celebrated Enrique’s 77th birthday, candles forming the figure 77.
My favorite beautiful daughter made her mango royale tart, oh so delicious, while my son in law ordered the steaks from a superior quality source, Amboy, then, grilled them. Our simple get together was renewing to our souls and spirits. I prepared pancit and Japanese potato salad. Thank you to my adult children for leading and preparing well.
Back then, we could just eat indoors at any restaurant of our choice to celebrate milestones, preferably Bestia or Bavel.
Today is our pader de familia’s birthday, Enrique de la Cruz, who is 77 years old, looking younger and more energetic than his peers. He lifts weights, bikes, walks up trails and summits mountains, and even backpacks. His biggest achievement was completing 36 days of Camino de Santiago, 480 miles in France and Spain, without injuries, blisters, or illness in 2019.
When he was 75yo, we celebrated it amidst the fireworks on Bastille Day in Paris, France and the crazy soccer match that got all Parisians honking their horns and filling up bars in Paris where we were.
This 2020 pandemic, he even got better, as his gardening yielded lettuce which became dinners for us for almost a month. He helps with babysitting and this summer, he is the primary summer camp teacher of our #princess2015la, whom he teaches math, science, music and the arts, while I take care of her biological and nutritional needs.
Oh, he writes OP-eds for Asian Journal which were widely shared and read by his academic peers, our community and Facebook friends. Yes, he can be and is our inspiration. But, he can also be a prick and can make you his project, lol.
Happy happy birthday to my hubby @enriquedlz of 41 solid years, with just 2 months of separation when he became a Fullbright scholar/researcher/professor at Leyte Normal University. We love you foreever and appreciate your adventurous spirit.
A blessed Sunday morning with #princess2015la. She said something to me. I reacted jokingly by saying, “Oh that hurts my feelings.” “No, Grandma,” then moves to sit on my lap. “When I ask you to take care of me, you do and you even get more excited when I come visit you.” She definitely knows how much she is loved.#selfassuredfiveyearsold #sheknowssheisinLolashouse
This am, I was fortunate to catch livestreamed mass of Fr. Randy Odchigue. His homily is exceptional in depth, in theological brilliance and existential philosophy of Albert Camus who spoke of Sisyphus rolling up the boulder up the mountain. To some it might look dreary, as he was consigned to keep rolling it from downhill, up to the mountains. But, Camus said Sisyphus must be happy as his happiness was not dependent on anyone and his reward was the effort itself, of rising up daily and keep moving the boulder from below to up the mountain, a curse he was consigned to.
He expounded on the sower who planted seeds. Some seeds fell on the thorns and withered. Some fell on the rocks, grew, but because of shallow roots, growth was uprooted by rains. Others fell on good soil and bore fruit abundantly for 100, 60, and 30.
Fr. Randy opened his homily by distinguishing psychologists’ tests of showing a glass filled halfway with water to testers. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty, while the optimist sees it half full.
He spoke of this biblical metaphor of sowing seeds and how farmers, though not guaranteed harvest, rise up everyday to tend to their farms. It is not unlike this pandemic, he said, where we rise up and tend to our daily duties yet, like an optimist, we will see bountiful harvests from good seeds. He likened the thistles, the rocks as shallow faith, while the good soil is that of rock solid faith from those who continue to have God’s grace of expecting, of having militant hope, and vigilant belief that God holds our hands. Be committed and have the conviction that God holds our hands in this journey. #BrilliantHomilistFrRandyOdchigue #GratefulforFamilyVisitFromFlores #GratefulforMyPeaceandContentment #GratefulforbeinglikeSisyphus
