“Our humanity comes to its fullest bloom in giving. We become beautiful people when we give whatever we can give: a smile, a handshake, a kiss, an embrace, a word of love, a present, a part of our life….all of our life. “ – Henri NouwenI have been fortunate in being able to live in the public fronts of community, regulatory agency, professional associations, activist events, and now writing for Asian Journal. It is a life’s journey with many folks to meet, so many friends, and foes to learn from, but few amongst thousands stood out.Few stood out because they had aligned their lives to match their values and their actions reflected in their enduring principles of serving humanity. Like Helen Toribio. Long after she is gone, we still share stories of how she made us feel, how she helped clarify our vision, particularly when we were so much in chaos. Or NVM Gonzales, whom I daresay was fulfilled not because of the money in his pockets, but because he loved his family. He had an affair with written words, and mentored others to live a life of meaning, not for themselves, and influenced many to write and keep writing. Some are still alive and when you ask them, they are happy, from living simply and helping out folks, like Tony Meloto.Some still have growth spurts in their businesses that become moments of hell. These hellish moments become their sources of wisdom as these challenges transform them. These moments of hell are their spiritual challenges: do they give in to popular demand or do they transform their lives to reflect their true character and cherish their true selves? Do they succumb to avoid the conflict within and become someone impressing others?Impressing othersI had a discussion with a friend, X, about life after 50. She felt free to be who she was, to claim her true self. While at work for decades, she learned to subsume her true self. She smiled and cracked jokes, even when she felt no longer joyful. What a performance that must be, a false mask that one takes off when one gets home just to feel real again.It reminded me of Y, who confided that as a defense mechanism, he always smiles. He smiles when he agrees, he smiles when he disagrees, and he smiles even when he can no longer stand the person he is talking to. He smiles even when he feels like he can’t anymore and by doing so, he keeps himself out of trouble. What a strain that must create from within: when he gets home and is mad, he screams, just to lose his mask of false smiles, just to be sure he is still living his reality.Smiles and jokes for X and Y became their survival skills to protect themselves and consequently — to impress. For them, the value in being not themselves means sparing themselves from conflicts and wounds, and so they go along to be popular, to be liked at all times.They live to impress others, but inside, they feel awkward — not at home, nor cherished, nor valued. They cannot honor their true selves, their true worth remains hidden, undiscovered even to themselves and unshared for others to learn from. So when they are invited to friends’ parties and soirees, a non-ending array of invitations, they go even when they do not feel like going anymore. They are called ‘sosyal’ — a social butterfly. Why? Because their lives revolved around impressing others.In impressing others, they make precise decisions of who will be part of their circle or not. They take great care in perfecting their small circle, tailored to make sure that everyone is marching to the same drum. In their mission to impress, everyone has the same look and fashion. It makes for a sosyal-fitting world of impressing one another and conveying the look of a very impressive group of people.But what about their conflict from within? The human spirit has been clobbered, so we find many demonstrations of angst: folks needing to soothe their inner wounds, but they look for external ways to soothe these inner wounds, without considering the ways they can be of service to others. No one has examined the body of thoughts that got us thinking mostly for ourselves. How do we relate so that we are not impressing others, but instead, expressing the deepest yearnings of our soul?Furthermore, how do we live so that we can stop comparing ourselves to others? What type of outfit is that? Doesn’t she look too flamboyant in that outfit? Doesn’t it look like her seams are overly stretched to fit her sausage body? Upon hearing that from people living a life to impress, I started my own journey of looking within. I simply wanted to help out community folks, and at times, I get invited to public events where the rich and famous are invited. But now, am I living this life to impress?What exactly is the essence of one’s character? Character is what a person becomes when confronted with a crisis or a challenge. Do they retain their true selves or do they impress others to convey a new image: remove the inconvenience, the anxiety, the turmoil they are going through, by being who they are not? Or do they respond with gracious dignity, reflect on the lessons of their spiritual challenge. What exactly was their personal share in that conflict, and if so, what can they change? Can they continue to express their spirituality in their actions to live their truth, aligned with their true self?I want to live a life to express. What are we living our lives for? Look around us: the wasted efforts from wars, from unrequited aspirations…instead, how about living our lives in a higher sacred space? A positive space where we displace old wounds from ourselves, giving them away to the Universe. Then, after ridding our wounds and hurts, we can replace them with good lessons to learn from and thinking of how to be considerate to ourselves, to our needs that we have long forgotten because we keep living lives to impress others.Grace Lee Boggs has two new questions for us to answer if we are going to turn this world around: “What time is it in the world now?” and “What would you do as majority in the world?” Let us start with those two questions, link them to answers from all perspectives, and install a process of finding our dwendes, helping us discover the essence of our humanity. What do we leave as our legacy to the next generation, as children displaced by a life of artificiality? Do we really want to live a life to impress or a life to express?End Note: Dwendes, like little elves, dwarfs are each person’s creative spirit, imagination, sense of playfulness.
“I was with God all day. He was with me when I woke up at 530 am to greet the sun. He was with me when a generous, disabled man had a wrench and fixed the car’s flat tire, on our way to catch the ferry. He was with us when we missed our 10am ferry, only to find out a 1045 am special, only for that day. He was with us when we met the priests in Catalina Island, getting there after a mishap. He was with me when I got lost in a postcard shop, and located my companions not much later in a restaurant by the sea, when the cell phones did not work. He was with us when we took a chance to drive with an ailing tire yet, got home safely. God was with me and all four priests, all day and night. ” Fr. Camilo Pacanza.
When I heard this story from Fr. Camilo, I enjoyed it so much, I retold the story over and over. I then realized that my faith in God is equally strong. I expect abundance now that my dreams will come true, if I work hard to fulfill my dreams, a step at a time.
But, I had not expected God to make things right: down to the flat tire, down to the special ferry ride to Catalina Island, down to even the ailing car tire which sustained Fr. Camilo and his companion priests. He related it with such gusto, that I could still imagine how he greeted the sun, how the sun’s rays touched his face, but also warmed up his heart to say Mass, then, to drive an hour away in traffic, to navigate over the St. Tomas Bridge (which by the way, is also the same bridge where folks get lost, as the tale goes). Yet, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel and two other priests found their way to see Catalina Island, and Fr. Camilo’s dream came true.
How does one acquire such a deep faith that anything from God is for the asking? I had stopped asking God, a friend, C, once told me. For everything I asked, He gave me. Instead, she is grateful for each breath and each day. She is a successful woman, and sometimes, she gives away portions of business profits, as gifts to the community.
Not J. J is a loving mother of a teenager, who recently lost her fiancée. She works hard at two jobs, her hospital career job and a business she created to share her skills. She shared her prayer, one Sunday Mass: to have a God-loving man as her life’s companion. After mass, she drove home. At a stoplight, she glanced to her right, and the driver of another car smiled. She smiled back. Off to another stop. The same driver followed her and smiled a second time. He then rolled down the windows, “ Are you J who went to this church sometime ago? “
She was surprised. How can he know this about her past? “ You were wearing this ribbon-accented dress ”, he said. “He paid attention to my dress? He is that much into me? God, you are answering my prayers, now? That was just minutes ago. she reflected. “ Indeed! For J and her newly ‘bumped into friend’ are ‘slowly’ dating, building up to a long-term relationship! To her friends, she said “ Be careful what you pray for, for they will just manifest! “
Yes, “ Ask and it is given! “
I shared my own prayers with J: to find a smart, intelligent, loving, community-oriented spouse 33 years ago. I told J that God gave me that spouse and he is all those. But, since I did not ask God to give me a man who will not try my patience, and God knows I have no patience, He gave me a spouse who pushes my buttons, for my patience or my anger or my frustration to be revealed each time.
I do have a real choice though, it is for God’s grace to be revealed in me or not.
Here is what happens. When I choose to be unforgiving, when I choose to react to my husband’s naughtiness, I lose literally all of God’s grace for almost two weeks: no parking spaces in any buildings I drive to, cranky folks to exchange pleasantries with, appointments cancelled, inability to write, even a power struggle with more nasty and dishonest folks, pipes breaking, literally all at once.
If I choose patience and love to be, I receive more grace: available parking spaces, errands done smoothly, strangers to connect to and to share stories with, an inspired writing day, blessings manifest and invitations from friends to be with them. It feels like a glorious, spring day, perfect for high tea and scones!
When I chose to give love and compassion, I get more of the same. It takes work to be all that, all the time: to be loving, to be affectionate and to harvest the goodness in folks, rather than their weak points!
But, in turn, God’s sacred space is what I consciously operate from, and away from an unconscious, reactive, difficult life which creates tensions and frustrations! My husband jokingly says that God has a sense of humor, that he was given to me for my God’s purpose, to create more patience in me! We laugh, we hug and we simply just be!
It is time to let God in, as if a fresh wind, as if a fresh ray of the sun to warm one’s cheeks, as if a Good Samaritan who changes Fr. Rodel’s car tire, as if a human GPS ( global positioning system ) to point the way for others. Yes, we are all connectors, but we must choose His love to manifest in our daily actions!
Ask and it is given! Thank you, Fr. Camilo and Fr. Rodel, and May God bless Immaculate Heart of Mary Church with more blessings, and with renovated structures, to last seven generations to come, in time and on time for its Jubilee!
“We are fortunate in our society that a means of resistance has been built into the law and the political process-the vote. The vote is the most powerful nonviolent tool we have in a democracy. We must use our votes, our power, and our organizational abilities to create a movement for good. We must not give up this power. We must not give in. We must not give out. We must use what we have – all our talents, resources, energy, and creativity. We must do all we can to help build a better nation and a better world. “ Congressman John Lewis
Today, as I shook your hand, Mr. President, I caught your genuine broad smile, from the second row of the California Science Center’s Annenberg Building, I caught a glimpse of your soul in your eyes. Eyes that tell us you see us, eyes that tell us we matter, and eyes that tell us that you work hard on our behalf. Eyes that tell us you are determined to secure a future not just for me, as I enter the autumn years of my life, but for my young children, one in graduate school and another working fulltime, both can now breathe easier because of the medical health reform bill that you signed in March 2010. The first day of spring became the first day of change for my family and with health care reform no longer the burdensome struggle that we must carry from our generation to the next.
My Self Like Others. Today, as I shook your hand, I boldy said “ Dream Come True, Mr. President! “ You smiled, looked at me, and moved to shake the hands of the next person. We wanted our very own precious moments with you. They may seem but, glimpses of our president, but priceless as to the journey of how each got here.
Another boldly wanted to show her motorcycle permit, yes, her permit issued by DMV, to show that she too broke out of her shell to go “ Broom, Broom, Broom…” with her hands firmly on the steering handles, as if a metaphor for taking her own future into her own hands in voting a President who she believes in. “ I want the President to know I like how he is making us more respectable in the world again, by having us come back to our compassionate spirit as Americans!” I thought I was alone in that reflection. Oops, I was wrong.
Another described how she just left the hospital, two days still wobbly on her foot, but determined to show her support for you. She asked if I could hold her space in line, while she sat down and rested on the bench. She used to be part of the Clinton Administration, but now no longer with that privilege, she too joined us in line, waiting patiently.
To Randy Palisoc, founder of Synergy Charter Academies, he said: “I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to see President Obama in person. You could feel the electricity in the air, and I felt like I was a part of history.”
Actually Christine Oshima, a friend of mine, endured her pain, postponed her knee surgery and travelled in crutches, from LAX to DC, as she wanted to see you in person inaugurated. She got to Washington, D.C., walked two miles and found instead, her own inner resolve to overcome challenges. She is now mobile and active, thanks to her determination to see you.
Another described the strength of living with diversity in Los Angeles. She is a retired teacher. She said that in Los Angeles, we find ourselves locked in space with someone different from us, that living here means not about enduring differences, but how to merge with that difference. She used the metaphor of freeways to clarify. She went on to say that in driving the freeways, even if crowded in Los Angeles, we take turns, we make room for others, and we know how to merge.
Her concept of diversity is different from mine, which is inclusivity all at once, as we witness exclusion every step of our journey, every day it seems. Hence for me, it is equal distribution, but for her, as she is a white woman, it is about taking turns, it is about giving way to others, it is sharing the space, just like in Aloha Hawaii. I realized then and there that we all have our own truths, and we need to merge our own truths with others, if our country is to move forward: The truth as you see it, Mr. President, the truth as others see it, and the truth we can all call as ours.
My Journey. For me, it took 3 years to reach this moment. 2 years of working for your campaign took me out of my comfort zone. Yes, out of my comfort zone to reach out to strangers and neighbors in my community and blog about our collective thoughts. It also gave me an inner will to relate to all folks, regardless of backgrounds, even to call independents and conservatives in Nevada or Florida, and have a dialogue on why I am voting for you, Mr. President. At one point, I was considered a heretic in my community because I am voting for you.
When I got more confident as I stood up for why a vote for you, I took it a bit further by going on television and debated a GOP. I may not have convinced him to cross party lines, but at the end of the television segment, he made a promise that he will seek me out and do joint projects because he enjoyed debating the merits and demerits of his beliefs and mine.
What I learned is to confront my truth with theirs ( the GOPs ) and from a personal ability to hold contrasting views, I can move forward to function. I learned from the example you showed us tonight how to handle the heckler, even if limited to few loud voices, where the interruption a mere two minutes, yet the electronic media of Los Angeles captured it as conflict, captured it as increasing dissent to Obama’s policies.
There was no conflict, as you and Sen. Boxer support the repeal of “ Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” If only Channels 4, 5, 11 and 9 took the time to immerse themselves in the lines, they would have heard the stories of journeys, which took folks to love and respect their president, this, they would have heard how you did it with grace.
She’s passionate about fighting for jobs, jobs with good wages, jobs with good benefits. She’s passionate about fighting for California’s families. She is —
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell!”
THE PRESIDENT: We are going to do that. Hey,hold on a second, hold on a second. We are going to do that.
AUDIENCE: Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
THE PRESIDENT: Here we go. All right — guys, guys, all right. I agree, I agree, I agree. (Applause.) Now —
AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Inaudible.)
THE PRESIDENT: No, no, no, no, listen. What the young man was talking about was we need to — we need to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which I agree with and which we have begun to do. (Applause.) But let me say this: When you’ve got an ally like Barbara Boxer and you’ve got an ally like me who are standing for the same thing, then you don’t know exactly why you’ve got to holler, because we already hear you, all right? (Applause.) I mean, it would have made more sense to holler that at the people who oppose it. (Applause.)
When you’ve got Barbara Boxer, who is passionate to give people all across this state a fair shake, to put the American Dream within reach for all Americans, then what we should be worried about is how are we going to make sure Barbara Boxer gets elected. (Applause.)
And that’s mostly what I want to talk about tonight. I am proud of the work we’ve done to bring the world together around a host of problems, from terrorism to the nuclear threat; from climate change to deprivation and poverty around the globe. I was gratified to sign a new START treaty with Russia — (applause) — and to host so many world leaders in Washington last week, working in concert to reduce the perilous risk that nuclear materials could fall into the wrong hands.
But reviving our own economy remains the central challenge that we’re facing today. I don’t have to tell you that. This state has been hit as hard as any state in the union with economic troubles these past few years. Jobs have been lost at a heartbreaking level all across this state, and they’ve devastated families and devastated communities.
The housing crisis hit this state with a particular vengeance, driving your friends, your neighbors out of their homes, injecting a sense of fear and financial insecurity into too many people’s lives.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: It’s time for equality for all Americans!
THE PRESIDENT: I’m sorry, do you want to come up here? (Applause.) You know, the — all right, because can I just say, once again, Barbara and I are supportive of repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” so I don’t know why you’re hollering.
Now, the problems that we have here put a further strain on folks in this state, forcing painful choices about where to spend and where to save. And the challenges folks have been facing here —
AUDIENCE MEMBER: (Inaudible.)
AUDIENCE: Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
THE PRESIDENT: Barbara — I just — everybody, I just wanted to confirm — I just wanted to confirm — I just checked with Barbara, so if anybody else is thinking about starting a chant, Barbara didn’t even vote for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the first place, so you know she’s going to be in favor of repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” (Applause.)
Now, that is a key issue, but I think putting Californians back to work is also a key issue — (applause) — because there are folks, gay and straight, who are out of work right now. (Applause.) And the challenges that are being faced right here in California are facing Americans all across the country.
While in lines, folks displayed proudly what they were wearing, symbols of how hard they worked for you: Woman for Obama pin, Labor for Obama pin, Obama ’08 jersey, Obama 44 t-shirt, First Family 2008 pin, Obama/Biden placard, all to show why they refer to you as “ I love my president! “ One took notice and said, “ He is our President, you know “. She disagreed and said, “ No, I feel he is my president, as this is the first time in a long 8 years of drought under GWB that I can now claim again that the White House resident is my president. So he is my president! “. Her disaffection from government has been replaced with genuine love and affection.
How God held me in His Hands. Last year, a dream of meeting Miss Oprah Winfrey came true for me, courtesy of friends in the community. Reflecting on my luck of seeing Miss Oprah, after dreaming of this for 20 years, I figured that it will take less time to meet my President in person.
So, it came to pass. I wrote down my 2010 dreams, one of which is to meet Mr. President Obama in person. Hence, in the first week of April, when I was invited to buy a seat in Senator Barbara Boxer’s fundraiser, I did not hesitate. I grabbed the opportunity. Of course, unable to pay the high end price, I opted for the low end organizer’s price.
What I did not expect were unsolicited acts of kindness: a free cup of coffee from a neighborhood miracle bakery, La Maison Du Pain, to get me going for the day. I call it miracle, for most of the successful community projects are birthed at this bakery, including the successful Obama meetings we held in the sidewalks in front of this site, where folks drove all the way from San Diego, San Gabriel Valley, attracted to the promise of positive synergy, including the greening of an elementary school to host a neighborhood garden of produce.
I went to the “ America I am/African American Imprint “ Exhibit at the California Science Center, which traced the journey of African Americans for the last 500 years, hours before meeting you, Mr. President. I was so overcome with emotions when I entered the “ Doors of No Return “. To see the imprint of 1800s on the wooden doors, which kept, folks in bondage got me crying. I literally could not walk inside the tunnel. An African-American docent accompanied me. He inspired him when he reminded me of W.E. B. Du Bois’ words of wisdom “ There is in this world no such force as the force of a person determined to rise. The human soul cannot be permanently claimed. “
It is that spirit which he told me – that spirit which allowed his ancestors to survive, 12 million out of 16 million slaves, scattered across Americas, never to return home. He reminded me that the spirit of 292 slaves allowed them to endure a confined space in the slave boat, divided in three sections, the left reserved for women, the center for children, and the right corner, men shackled to one another, bound with metal around their necks and ankles and wrists. He reminded me that their spirits allowed them to survive the tight space by assuming the position called “ spooning “, lying on one’s side, their muscles in atrophy, while laying in their own feces and urine. In all, he reminded me, 52,444 slave voyages occurred from 1500s until it ended in 1887.
I could not imagine the inhumanity that your forefathers must have undergone, Mr. President. But, in the same breath, he reminded me that his ancestors had extraordinary fortitude, intestinal gut, fierce courage to say, “ I can, I will, I can do this, I will survive and I am capable. “ Then, we talked about his job, how he became a docent. He told me of being corrected by a hypercritical teacher/mother that to this day, he continues to misspell the same word she corrected him persistently. He said that criticisms, unfounded that is, toxifies the spirit, corrodes it like any.
Mr. President, doesn’t this make you recall how the GOPs are trying their darndest to toxify your spirit? How they hyperscrutinize you as if you are being lynched so as to diminish your inner determination and make you buckle in your knees to withdraw from banking reforms? Hmm….it truly made me recall of what you go through each day when unjustified criticisms come your way.
I asked him how long will the exhibit last. He said he would lose his job by May 2 and he did not know what the future held for him, as the job statistics were daunting. Now, it was my turn to inspire him. I told him “Remember the beginning of the exhibit and how Cornel West and Tavis Smiley were in conversations about what your ancestors endured?”
I told him that his ancestors’ after-life compel him to have a life of magnificence, and nothing short to dignify what they endured during those voyages: “ shackled and trapped in the bowels of a slave, unable to go home again, the captives would now have no choice but to live in the struggle, a fierce, many-sided, never-ending fight to survive, to live of necessity in a new way. “ (Marcus Rediker). Recall how President Barack Obama’s indescribable genius is now personified into profound intelligence in how he tackles all prior problems that remained unresolved? I continued-imagine the health care reform that used to be a generational struggle no longer is our burden, but now a generational duty and a right to pass on to our children? Imagine if in the White House today we did not have a President Barack Obama? Would not our future be so bleak?”
He picked up his steps, and at the end of his presentation on the slave boat, he gave us the exhibit-goers, his own inspiring words. “ I want you not just to remember the horrors of our ancestral past, I saw you overcome with grief while he pointed to me, but I also want you to remember the grit and fortitude it took to withstand the slavery to where we are today, it took unbelievable self-confidence, unbelievable self-worth and unbelievable self-regard. Their after-lives must manifest in your life, if only to honor what they went through to overcome their indignities and journey to freedom in reclaiming their dignities!”
Yes, we became each other’ s keeper of optimism, survival joy that at times, became temporarily derailed by the enormous problems we all face, 14% unemployment in California, 30% in South Central Los Angeles.
But, the best part, the guard at the exhibit gave me her unopened bottled water so that I could get in line, just like others. “ Go, go, they are on their way now “, she said, three hours before the scheduled check-in. And the night before, Mr. President, a blind GOP lawyer friend of mine, awaiting for his federal appointment, called me out of the blue and gave me tips on being myself as I meet my president. He too had his own journey. He met GWB and told him “I would work for you in May 2004.” Months later, he did. And now, he awaits his turn to serve you, Mr. President. I believe my blind lawyer/friend is a true patriot, as he puts the NATION’s Interests first before himself, NATION’s interests before party loyalty and from him, absolute optimism is what I learned.
He told me that I already attracted the opportunity to meet you, so it must be in my stars to meet you in person. I was as sure as he was that I would meet you, when I got his unsolicited call. “ Yes, Ollie, it is Ask and it Shall be Given! “ He got excited, “ Tita, you read Esther Hicks’s book? “ Yes, Ollie, I do! “
Mr. President, Ask and It shall be given! The next day, another rare opportunity came up. I was invited to be part of the White House Press Pool to say goodbye to you on Air Force One. I could not sleep at the prospect of meeting you again, Mr. President. I had a few days to turn in a letter from my editor, to validate my press credentials, and it had to be done on Saturday.Luckily for me, my publisher responded and the letter was faxed on time. I got my media permit for Asian Journal and I was listed as part of the White House Press Pool. I was in line along with satellite trucks of Channels 2, 4, 5, 7 and 11 as early as 445am. Soon, there were 20 of us in line, waiting for security check-in and to be LAPD-escorted within 40 feet of Air Force One. I had a direct view of the open door to Air Force One. An added bonus, to take a photo of Air Force One, with the sun rising in the background. It was a great symbol for me, an Easter, a Resurrection of New Values of Care, a New Vision of caring for Others, a renewed Social Contract to care for the next seven generations to come.
Mr. President, these two experiences of seeing you in person have now imprinted me permanently, indelibly etched in my memory to last. Just as I wanted to see you with my own two eyes, I was even more blessed to see you in action with your compassionate heart.
Once I had a dream, and I went after it aggressively to elect a good man to the White House, a man of superior leadership skills, a man of compassionate heart and good spirit. But God had a better Dream for all of us, a vision of hope for our time and a UNITED States of AMERICA, based on a new compassionate spirit, inclusive of others.
Mr. President, thank you for this lifetime of an experience! We see you, and like you, I became truly an American in spirit, in boldness of optimism, in struggle to overcome difficulties and in becoming more wholesome, as you keep showing by your example, as you are our Good Sheperd, leading us in a way to rebuild our economy based not just on social capital, but on social trust, transcending our racialized and segregated past.
May God shower you with His Invisible Grace, that you make VISIBLE through your actions in the White House!
“Peace is not the product of terror or fear. Peace is not the silence of cemeteries. Peace is not the silent result of violent repression. Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution of all to the good of all. Peace is dynamism. Peace is generosity. It is right and it is duty.” Bishop Oscar Romero
My father, Eleazar Abarquez died on April 24, 2000.
But it was only three years later after his death, when I found out that he lost three family members (his parents and a brother) during WW II.
My fraternal grandparents, who were both Filipino soldiers, were lured into the woods to look for their missing son. Apparently, it was a trap and they were killed by the Japanese Imperial Army. The pastor of Vigan Church refused to bury them, fearing retaliation. It was my father’s vigorous advocacy and perseverance which enabled him to provide his parents a decent and dignified Christian burial.
Orphaned at a young age, my father moved to Manila. Instead of despairing over the loss of his parents, he nurtured hope and resorted to education as his way out of poverty.
He would walk, barefoot for miles, to get to school and back. Sometimes he had food, other times he had to endure hunger. He persisted, until his law degree was interrupted by an early marriage, when he met the love of his life, Asuncion. Theirs became a bond of love, which defied all sorts of financial odds, and they both managed to build a home for five girls: Rose, Prosy, Sion, Rachel and Nimfa. He became a labor inspector, tasked with enforcing the labor codes of the Philippines. My mother was a science and math teacher in a public school. But, their dreams were larger than what their careers offered, so my mother took the initiative to immigrate first with my eldest sister, Rose to Los Angeles, and then, the rest of the us joined them.
My father was tasked with selling our wares –the car, the house and lot. Months before martial law was imposed, he got a promotion to become the Southern Regional Administrator, appointed by then Director of Labor Blas Ople. He was faced with his own dilemma, to pursue his career and be away from his family or to be reunited with them and start anew.
Peace is generosity
Choosing new beginnings, he got a job as a counselor at the Veterans Counseling Center in Los Angeles. He counseled Vietnam veterans and as he did his work, he found healing from his loss. After retiring from his job as a counselor, he became a primary caregiver to his grandchildren born in America — Jennifer, Brian, Michael, Paul, Jason, and Jessica. He would pick them up from school, cook their dinners and supervise their homework. Even with persistent arthritis, he endured physical pain to care for them. Because of his efforts, Jessica wrote a tribute poem for him about his daily heroic deeds.
From my father, I learned a code of conduct — contributing for the good of all and serving others before myself. At Christmas, my father would give generously to Catholic nuns who came to our house in the Philippines, to sing Christmas carols. Even if it meant giving away his last cent, he provided for them and also for the medical needs of relatives. At times, I heard my mom complain about their limited government salaries in the Philippines, and that he should limit the giving away our resources. But, my dad believed that God provides, and he remained generous to every sampaguita vendor or beggar that we would come across when our car was stalled in Manila traffic.
It was from my father, Eleazar that I learned acceptance of what life hands to you. Instead of negativity, he taught me to transcend challenges by being generous. My reward is that precious blessing of peace in one’s heart. Year after year, I watched him give away what little he had. And it seemed that he never ran out of blessings to share. The biggest beneficiaries, of course, were his children. He would provide for me at all times and ’til now, long after he’s gone, he still continues to do so.
Peace is not the product of terror or fear
I met someone who was a dead ringer for my dad. I thought for a brief moment that my father was alive when I was introduced to Senator Daniel Inouye at a UCLA event.
Allow me to share briefly, the bravery of Senator Dan Inouye. He was the first successful senator to have accomplished for our Filipino WW II veterans, a provision in H.R. 1, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (Public Law 111-5), signed by President Barack Obama, which provides 18,000 living Filipino WW II veterans, a one-time payment of $15,000 to American citizens of Filipino descent and $9,000 to Filipino veterans of WW II who are non-citizens — a total of $198 million.
I was listening to an audio recording at the Smithsonian’s exhibit called Price of Freedom in Washington, DC where Senator Dan Inouye’s bravery. It was likewise reported by Robert Asahina in “Just Americans: The Story of the 100th Battalion/442nd Regimental Combat Team in World War II.“
“And later he found out he had been shot in the stomach, but he kept climbing up the hill. A machine gun nest was firing at him. He threw a grenade, knocked out that machine gun nest, another machine gun nest opened up on him. A German soldier stood up with a grenade launcher, launched a grenade straight at Inouye.
Inouye was carrying a live grenade in his right hand when the German grenade hit him, nearly severing his right arm. [Inouye] grabbed the live grenade out of his right hand with his left hand, threw it into the machine gun nest, blew up that machine gun nest, fell to the ground, crawled up the ground, then got hit a third time by another rifleman before he was knocked out.
For four days and nights they fought their way through these very dense mountains,” says Asahina, who has visited the site. “The canopy is so dense that when you are in there in the middle of the day, it’s dark. And they were fighting there in the dark, climbing hills with the Germans firing down on them. It was one of the most heroic battles of the French campaign.”
Peace is the generous, tranquil contribution for the good of all
Recall the internment of over 120,000 Japanese Americans, 65% of whom were American citizens, that was made possible by Executive Order 4066, signed by President Franklin Roosevelt, after WW II was declared? While in camp, they lived in barracks, that were 20 x 120 ft, divided into 4-6 tiny apartments, with sheet rock walls, sometimes covered, sometimes not, with tar paper on the roof. These wood shacks had gaps on the walls and on the floors, allowing heat and blistering cold to come in. They had common bathrooms that they had to walk to, traversing the mud with their wooden sandals. In some parts of the West Coast, they were housed in barns where horses were kept.
Yet, these interned Japanese -Americans taught their families acceptance and a code of behavior, called shushin, giving their lives in camp a sense of dignity.
They recognized that shushin, which is about perseverance, hard work and respect for authority, can now be their code of behavior to pass on. Instead of bitterness, they passed on giri, a strong sense of duty or obligation to others; on, a profound obligation to family, especially parents, a generational duty to do good to others, to look after generations to come. From this collective decision, they served others before themselves.
Instead of anger, the value of gaman, which means to endure adversity and to persevere, was taught by example. At times, it felt like they were passive, but while in camps, they taught their children watercolor paintings. The art of woodmaking was passed on. Even games of baseball were played. Dances and songs were taught. They centered on arts, spirituality and cultural values in the camps.
Later, these cultural values of gaman and giri empowered the succeeding generations of Japanese – Americans — it is their way of remembering the sacrifices of their ancestors, and pursuing their fair share and seats at the decision-making table — not for themselves, but for the next generations. Hence, it marked the birth of the Japanese American National Museum that is mostly funded by federal funds, army financial resources, and private donations.
At the Japanese American Museum in Little Tokyo, I saw desert sand of various colors that are encased in acrylic boxes, with artifacts such as boots, sandals, books, accessories of clothing, etc. With one’ s imagination, one might relive what the Issei (the first generation Japanese – Americans) experienced — harsh conditions that moved Pres. George H.W. Bush to say, “ No nation can fully understand itself or find its place in the world if it does not look with clear eyes all the glories and the disgraces of its past. We in the United States acknowledge such an injustice in our history. The internment of the Americans of Japanese ancestry was a grave injustice, and it will never be repeated.”
Yet, with all these injustices the Japanese-Americans faced in internment camps, they were the most decorated batallion that fought in World War II. Daniel Inouye became one of the most decorated WW II hero, now a US Senator. The 442nd combat unit garnered over 18,000 individual decorations for bravery, 9,500 Purple Hearts for casualties, and seven Presidential Distinguished Unit citations.
The community has, since that period of internment, worked for decades to achieve redress and reparation, just like how the Filipino Veterans struggled for equity. It was a movement made up of cumulative depths and levels of contributions, including solidarity campaigns from many sectors. It led to the Civil Liberties Act of 1988, authored by Senator Inouye, authorizing redress payments to “surviving internees, and which created a public education fund to ensure that similar violations of civil liberties will not be repeated against any other group based on race, religion or national origin.”
As for the interned Japanese – Americans, David Mas Matsumoto wrote “ We live with ghosts or spirits all around us, they are a sense of history that bonds all of us. Culture is alive and evolving. The facts are not as important as the process of change and acceptance…..For we too are simply ordinary people with a universe passing by us and through us.”
I was fortunate to have met all these men, my father who raised me and taught me the value of generosity; Senator Daniel Inouye who taught me the value of bravery and courage and David Mas Matsumoto who taught me the value of culture and community. In them, I am grateful most–grateful for being life examples which speak loudly of peace!
Today, as I shook your hand, as I caught your genuine broad smile, from the second row of the California Science Center’s Annenberg Building, I caught a glimpse of your soul in your eyes. Eyes that tell us you see us, eyes that tell us we matter, and eyes that tell us that you work hard on our behalf.
Today, as I shook your hand, I boldly said “ Dream come true, Mr. President! “ You smiled, looked at me, and moved to shake the hands of others. We all wanted our very own precious moment with you.
The first day of spring became the first day of change for my family and with health care reform no longer the burdensome struggle that we must carry from our generation to the next.
It took three long years for me to reach this moment. Two years of working for your campaign took me out of my comfort zone. Yes, out of my comfort zone to reach out to strangers and neighbors in my community and blog about our collective thoughts. It also gave me the inner will that I can relate to all folks, regardless of backgrounds, even to call independents and conservatives in Nevada or Florida and have a dialogue on why I am voting for Barack Obama.
When I got more confident as I did that, I took my skill a bit further in going on television in debating another GOP to vote for you. I may not have convinced him to cross party lines, but at the end of the television segment, he made a promise that he will seek me out and we will do joint projects in the future because he enjoyed being respected as we debated the merits and demerits of his beliefs and mine.
What I learned is to confront my truth with theirs, and from the ability to hold contrasting views, move forward to function. I learned from the example you showed us tonight how to handle the heckler.
Last year, a dream of meeting Miss Oprah Winfrey came true for me, courtesy of friends in the community. With that fortune of seeing her after 20 years of dreaming to meet her in person, this time, I figured, having a chance to meet my President in person should be sooner.
So, it came to pass. I wrote my dreams for the year 2010. One of which included meeting you, Mr. President. In the first week of April, I was invited to buy a seat in Senator Barbara Boxer’s fundraiser. I grabbed the opportunity.
Your indescribable genius is now personified into profound intelligence. Imagine the health care reform — which used to be a generational struggle — is no longer our burden, but a generational duty and a right that we can pass on to our children.
Yes, we became each other’ s keeper of optimism, survival joy that at times, became temporarily derailed by the enormous problems we all face, 14% unemployment in California, 30% in South Central Los Angeles.
Mr. President, ask and It shall be given! Another rare opportunity came up. I was invited to be part of the White House Press Pool to say goodbye to my President on Air Force One. I could not sleep at the prospect of meeting you again, Mr. President.
Luckily, I was listed as part of the White House Press Pool. I was in line along with satellite trucks of Channels 2, 4, 5, 7 and 11. Soon, there were 20 of us in line, as early as 445am, waiting for security check-in and to be LAPD-escorted within 40 feet of Air Force One. I had a direct view of the open door to Air Force One. An added bonus, to take a photo of Air Force One, with the sun rising in the background. It was a great symbol for me, an Easter, a Resurrection of New Values of Care, a New Vision of caring for Others, a renewed Social Contract to care for the next seven generations to come.
Mr. President, these two experiences of seeing you in person have now imprinted me permanently, indelibly etched in my memory to last. Just as I wanted to see you with my own two eyes, I was even more blessed to see you in action with your compassionate heart.
Once I had a dream, and I went after it aggressively to elect a good man to the White House, a man of superior leadership skills, a man of compassionate heart and good spirit.
But God had a better Dream for all of us, a vision of hope for our time and a UNITED States of AMERICA, based on a new compassionate spirit, inclusive of others.
Mr. President, thank you for this lifetime of an experience! We see you. Like you, I became truly an American in spirit, in boldness of optimism, in struggle to overcome difficulties and in becoming more wholesome, as you keep showing by your example, as you become our Good Shepherd in leading us a way to rebuild our economy based not just on social capital, but on social trust, transcending our divided past.
Like one teacher/organizer said, Mr. President, we are learning to take turns, we are learning how to merge! May God shower you with His Invisible Grace, that you make VISIBLE through your actions in the White House!
Two beach walkers by the wading pond in Harris Beach. Taken at sunset. July 2010.
“ Right action demands that we find a deeper and truer source of energy and guidance than relevance, power and spectacle can provide.” – Parker J. PalmerSometime in the 1930s to the 1950s, the visionary thinking of two Sams, have provided for the public enjoyment of 363 miles of breathtaking coastline along Highway 101 in Oregon. It starts from the border of California on the north and ends in the border of Washington on the south. It is a rugged coastline of spectacular views, attracting bikers and motorcycle riders and vacationers all the way from Vancouver, British Columbia making their way down to San Francisco and for the more adventurous, all the way south to the Mexican border. We were coming from Los Angeles to Seattle, the other way around. In admiring the rugged coastline, we thought of the right actions of two Sams, who envisioned and planned for the People’s Coast.Sam Boardman negotiated for lands to be bought, as Oregon State Parks’ first superintendent and the markers in Sam Boardman State Park credits him as Oregon’s Father of State Parks. The second Sam, Sam Dicken, was a professor of geography in University of Oregon who persuaded the state officials to create the Oregon Coastal trail from border to border. He was worried that the rugged Oregon coastline might be lost to public access. He is credited as the father of the Oregon Coast Trail.No cars make it directly to the beaches, instead, cars are parked in paved areas and the beaches are accessed by foot. Harris Beach was accessed minutes by foot, while another, Lone Secret Beach took more. Harris Beach attracts more visitors and is more interesting because of its coves, the wading pond, including waveboarders (they use the receding waves of the ocean and the compact sand to ride their boards).We first met an Oregonian transplant, formerly from Chicago, in Harris Beach. Lisa works in a dental office. After work, she takes photos of the Oregon coastline and now has a collection of 1,000 images. She offered us the front of her car to lean on, with an Indian wool rug thrown on top, while we waited for the sunset. It felt cozy! With our map, she highlighted spectacular photography viewpoints: Natural Bridges Cove, Cape Sebastian, Cape Foulweather and more. These were all gratuitous by the way, unsolicited! With Lisa’s help, we got to our first spot.We came upon the Natural Bridges Cove, a natural bridge that connects the two coves. The water looked calm and the serene. In the afternoon, the sight is breathtaking, and even more enchanting in the morning. Here, we met another Oregonian, Bill, who lives near Harris Beach. He loves Oregon and would not consider living elsewhere. “ There is so much beauty here that I am willing to put up with some cold. It is not too bad, it gets 50 to 70F, but for my wife, it gets too cold for her. “We planned to walk the entire coastal trail to reach the Natural Bridges Cove’s beach area. It would be at least two downhill and another treacherous climb uphill — only to find a fallen tree morphed into a log!
It became both a crisis and a reward point for us. Do we climb over or crawl under? We watched a thin, young man climb over the log adeptly. What choice should we make? If we do not proceed, we succumb to our fears of height, and stay caged inside this familiar fearful zone with no action. The trail was but 24 inches wide, enough for us to stay safe, but the other side of it is the cliff.
We decided to face our fears, kneel down, step a bit on the roots of a fern, not much to keep us from going down into the cliff. With our legs shaking, we practically crawled our way to the other side.
We met a teenager who coached us, as we crawled under the fallen log, and when we were done, he offered to take us to the lookout point. No need, but thank you very much for helping us! We wanted to do it by ourselves.
We went back to the trail the next morning. This time, equipped with feeling and a memory of a challenge conquered, we bent such that our body could fit the space under the fallen log without crawling and soiling our clothes. Perhaps when fears are let go, bodies become pliant and flexible. Once we got to the other side, we smiled, a big one that came from within. We walked most of the trail with no one watching us to make a spectacle of ourselves.
We walked uphill and downhill, more assured and on our own! We felt an inner joy to rid ourselves of baggage: no longer fearing the heights, no longer afraid of the cliff, and now, with a sense of ease that we trust ourselves to take on the challenges that life gives us. Our next challenge: to walk down to reach the natural bridges and do the ‘treacherous climb uphill’ to get back, and our third visit to the Natural Bridges Cove would be a charm!
But, in these two visits, we saw the fruits of right actions of the Oregon’s state government: of providing their coastline for generations to enjoy, supported by the right actions of Oregonians to put people first on their people’s coast! We feel blessed by these random acts of kindness from Oregonians, for they represent the best of America we love! For us, we scored one on life!
